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Are you adopted child? What’re your feeling when you know that you’re an adopted child and feel lonely in the family? Well this time I just want to express a little bit about myself. Many the people around me not know or just not care that I’m an adopt child and the only son in a adopted family. For me, when I know who I am, I know the responsibility is really big on my shoulder for this family, I have to payback what they’ve done to me cause make me till who am I now. I’m the oldest in the family and have 3 young sisters. The age of my sisters is 17 years old (Now, she’s waiting for SPM result), 15 years old and 13 years old. Now, I’m 24 and next month, on 13th March, I’ll be 25 years old. At my age now, it is the best time I have to service for my lovely family. The gap between me and the oldest sister is about 7 years, that’s a big gap like the differentiate generation. Until now, I still feel as a stranger in this family even they’re treat me very good and full of lovely like their own child. As a proven, I have a degree in Computer Science which is this course have to spend big budget and some said this course just for the rich family if you want to success in this field (During study, I rarely ask money from my family, just try to control budget all the money I can, thanks god I got scholarship from JPA). I don’t want to be a burden for my family any more, it’s already enough what they’ve done to me. Now, it’s my turn to payback. Even I have degree but my salary is still diploma standard (Economy in Malaysia is still not good and maybe just this is my rezki). It’s really hard when you have to saving half of your salary to backup your sisters education budget (Preparation for my sisters who will continue her study after SPM) and when you’ll be the leader of your family after your father retired. My father will retire in august next year, so it’s my responsibility to take care all of budget for this family lonely. It’s hard and challenging but I believe this will make me more stronger and be the better person (hopefully). I believe on god and also hukum karma (Who’s do good thing will get a good thing). Sometime I hope wanna have at least one older brother or sisters to assist me, but that’s just a dream, it will not come reality.
Right now, communication skill is the big weakness for me, this maybe because I grow up alone with the big gap ages with all my sisters, maybe cause being isolated by the relatives, feeling stranger in the family or lonely and can’t show off(Some of my friend can show off with their family property;for example, car). So, when you’re growing up alone, you have to study hard and learn all things by yourself. Sometime, I’m jealous to my friends which is have brothers or sisters to assist them in their life and also their communication skill better than me (Which their ages brothers/sisters gaps just about 2-3 years). That’s why I like not talk too much because not good in talking. (Apo laie, sembanglah … ) I rarely communicate with my sisters because they’re all girls and still small (Nasib baik aku x lembut :D). My parents? Well my father is a primary school teacher and not to mention he is not educated but well, he’s the old people. So not very know about young people like me. So, our communication is just like father and son only. By the way, he’s came from poor family, but he the successor in his family. I really respect him. How about my relatives, cousin?? Uncle?? Auntie??. Hmmmm they all have their own family now and they’re still treat me as a stranger in their big family, both from my father and my mother side. So I’ll like not talk too much with them because I know who I am. The stranger person who is just to reside in their big family. So, that’s why I’ll try do anything alone all the best, try not to ask help from other people, maybe my friends out there think that I’m a conceited (sombong) person and not friendly. Actually not because of that, I try to be friendly but can’t because maybe this is I’m. At least I try to be friendly but I they’re still misunderstood. So, just be myself. All that just let god make the decision and also time decide it. Career: Now, I work at the big company and known by every people especially in Kelantan and Terengganu. This work is very good for my career development, but for the salary and work time. Not so good, Here, I’ve to work about 12 hours per day from 2pm – 2am just for salary about diploma standard (I’ve a degree in Computer Science from UPM and Profesional Certificate from international computer education agency). Well, what I can say, this’s my fate, at least I’ve a job and also can take a lot of experience for my career development. If the salary is worth with my task job here, maybe I’ll happy work here, but from the 1st day, I just heard the bad things only from my senior colleagues here. Maybe this is just my another transit to find another comfortable job for tomorrow soon. I’m still looking for a better jobs and continuoesly learning new thing in my career (try to adapt life long learning concept). By the way, this job make me learn a lot of IT stuff and learn how to work in a team and also communicate with another colleaguaes, but the bad things here is clicque. At here, I try to be independent person, not to bias to any group. It’s really fun when u learn something from zero and do something by yourself. I also learn about management especially about manage IT Infrastructure here, and also can see every type of behavior of employee at here, some of them are very good in persuade other people, just don’t want to give any commitment. A lot of behaviour type. Well, I think that’s all for now, don’t have any idea more what to write about. Just wanna chow now……..Chow………. Ps : Jiwang cket, meh dengar lagu nie…one of my fav song …..
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